You're Engaged...Now What???

Photo by Amy Gibson Photography

I get asked all of the time if I have a set timeline for planning. I personally do not use one. You can find planning timelines on the Knot or anywhere on Google, but I would just use those as a suggestion. Couples get engaged at any time of the year. You might have a two year engagement or a 6 month engagement. So timing is going to be different for everyone. The most important thing is to not overwhelm yourself with it. Wedding planning should be fun! There are enough stressful things in life. This is supposed to be a happy time. Enjoy being engaged!

I like to use Pinterest early on. It is my favorite source for inspiration. Start looking at wedding ideas to get yourself thinking about styles, colors, aesthetics, etc. You might like a few different styles. That's ok! You do not need to have that all planned right now. Don't put a ton of pressure on yourself. This should be something fun you can start doing on your phone when you have extra time. 

​I put together a simplified list of things that can help with planning, without deadlines. 

1. Decide if you need a wedding planner
If you do not have time to plan a wedding or have no clue what to do and want the extra help, I would start here. If you plan to do it yourself then later down the road decide it's too much, then hire a wedding planner. If you hire a wedding planner, you can skip the rest of this list! If it is not in the budget or you simply want to do it yourself, go on to step 2. 

2. Budget $$$$
We all know weddings are expensive! The average wedding is around $33k in 2024. You might be paying for the wedding yourselves or you might have parents helping out. If you have parents contributing it is a good idea to sit down with them early on and discuss the budget. They may contribute a set amount and you can decide as a couple if you want to add to that or stay in that amount. If you are planning to pay for it yourself, it is a good idea to sit down as a couple and talk about what you can realistically afford and what you are both comfortable with spending. 

3. Date
Figure out when you want to get married. Do you want a winter, spring, summer, or fall wedding? Do you have a specific date in mind that is significant to you? I advise couples to choose a time of year that work is not very busy or perhaps you are off for the summer. If you can, I would be flexible with your date so that you have more venue choices. 

4. Guest Count
Figuring out how many guests you will have is important to decide early on. It will help narrow down venues and help with budgeting. I suggest that you both make a list of everyone that you would like to invite. I also suggest that you have each set of parents give you a list (especially if they are contributing!). 

5. Venue
Once you have a budget, a guest count, and a date (or approximate date), it will narrow down your venue choices. Then discuss what kind of venue that you want. Are you going to get married in a church, outside, or do you have something else in mind? There are so many different kinds of venues such as barns, lofts, museums, restaurants, a yacht, etc. Think outside the box if you want something non-traditional. If you have a really large guest count you may not have a lot of choices and will probably need to go with something more traditional like a ballroom. 

Photo by Raelani Stockwell Photography

6. Bridal party
Now that you have your date and venue, it's time to assemble your bridal party. If you are not having a bridal party move on to the next. 

There are no rules here. Choose who you want in your bridal party! If you have a male that you want on the female side, do it! If you have an uneven amount on each side, who cares? If you have 6 nieces and no nephews, have 6 flower girls and no ring bearers. Don't choose your bridal party because you feel obligated. There are other ways to include family or friends in your wedding without having them stand up in your wedding. They could officiate, be an usher, do a reading during the ceremony, give a toast or blessing at the reception, or can be given a different task. 

Here are some fun ways to ask your bridal party. 

7. Vendors
You have your venue! That is a huge check off the list. I like to break up vendors into groups by importance for couples. This is going to be different for every couple. If your venue provides dinner, that is great! If they do not and they have specific caterers that you can use, book that first! Food is going to be a huge chunk of your budget. It's important to have good food and good service for your guests. 

Next, talk about what things are important to you. Is music really important? Do you want a band or a really great DJ? Do you want over the top flowers or something more simple? Are photos or videos really important? Whatever thing is most important to you, book that! Make a list of the rest in order of importance. 

There are so many amazing vendors everywhere! Don't stress yourself out choosing them all at once. Take your time and focus on one vendor at a time. Some vendors to consider are a Caterer, Photographer, Videographer, Day of Coordinator, Officiant, Florist, Rentals, and Bakery.

8. Attire
Start shopping for dresses and tuxes or suits. Keep an open mind. Sometimes what you picture might not be the right dress for you. I had my mind set on an elegant, all lace ivory dress for my wedding. I went to so many bridal shops and tried on so many dresses. When I finally found that dress, it hated it!  I ended up with a completely different style and color. 

Photo by Emwill Co.

9. Hotel Blocks
Don't wait on this one. So many timelines online have this late in the list. If your venue is in a downtown area or an area that holds a lot of big events, book a block of rooms right away.  Some hotels won't allow a block if there is a big convention, concert, or sporting event going on. Ask about perks such as complimentary rooms or a complimentary shuttle for guests. This is usually a super simple check off your list and is a great task to delegate. 

10. Websites and Save the Dates
Websites are a great way to share details about your wedding with your guests that you wouldn't normally include on an invitation. Things such as hotel blocks, things to do in the area for out of town guests, attire, day after brunch, etc. 

If you plan to send save the dates, send them as early as you want. The more time your guests have to plan, the better. 

 Now it's time for the details (my favorite!).  Check back for more.